Chapter 12. Manage Conflict - Interpersonal Communication

Chapter 12. Manage Conflict

4 December 2012

Conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties. All conflicts possess the same characteristics of perceived incompatible goals, expressed struggle, perceived scarce rewards, interdependence, and inevitability.

Conflicts can be constructive, yet most people view conflict as something to be avoided whenever possible.

Communication scholars usually describe harmful conflicts as dysfunctional and beneficial ones as functional.

In dysfunctional conflicts, outcomes fall short and have damaging effects on the relationship, and functional conflicts achieve the best possible outcomes even possibly strengthening the relationship. This dichotomy forms various sub-dichotomies:

Integration versus polarization, cooperation versus opposition, confirmation versus disconfirmation, agreement versus coercion, de-escalation versus escalation, foresight versus shortsightedness, focusing versus drifting, positive versus negative results.

Default styles of handling conflict are characteristic approaches people take when their needs appear incompatible with what others want.

Conflict styles include avoidance, accommodation, competition, compromise, and collaboration.

Avoidance occurs when people nonassertively ignore or stay away from conflict. Avoidance can be physical or conversational, and reflects a pessimistic attitude about conflict.

Accommodation occurs when we allow others to have their own way rather than asserting our own point-of-view.

Competition is a win-lose approach to conflict that involves high self concern, and low concern for others.

Compromise gives both people at least some of what they want although both sacrifice part of their goals. Some compromises leave everyone satisfied.

Collaboration seeks win-win solutions to conflict in which the goal is to find a solution that satisfies the needs of everyone involved. It is often the ideal outcome.

Passive aggression occurs when a communicator expresses dissatisfaction in a disguised manner, whereas, direct aggressors lash out to attack the source of displeasure.

In determining the best style to use when resolving conflict, consider: the situation, the other person(s) involved, and your own goals.

When two or more people are in a long-term relationship, they develop their own relational conflict style which is a pattern of managing disagreements that repeats itself over a matter of time.

3 styles to manage conflicts include: complimentary conflict style, symmetrical conflict style, and parallel conflict style.

Another way to examine conflict styles is to examine the interaction between emotional closeness and aggression which can include: Nonintimate-aggressive, Intimate-aggressive, Nonintimate-nonaggressive, Intimate-nonagressive.

When people have been in a relationship for some time, their communication often develops into conflict rituals which are unacknowledged, yet real repeating patterns of interlocking behavior.

Conflict management in practice requires that you define your needs, share your needs with the other person(s), listen to the others’ needs, generate possible solutions, evaluate the solution options and choose the best one, implement the solution, and follow-up/reinforce the solution.